Did you know that many marriages fail for the same reasons? Find out the 3 common marriage problems that marriage counselors report are the most discussed issues when couples seek marriage advice.
Below are three common marriage pitfalls that seem to be real marriage wreckers. Ignore these issues at your peril!
1. There’s no I in TEAM
Couples need to act as a team. That means the fair distribution of practical things such as sharing household responsibilities and chores. It should also extend to each partner being available to support the other and not feeling that their stresses and strains take precedence.
If a partner continually feels that their wants and needs take second place in the marriage then they will naturally pull back from providing the same support to their partner and may even go to someone else to fulfill these needs. And so the downward spiral begins…
In short; every relationship needs balance where both partners can expect the time and support of each other.
2. Separate Lives
Over time many couples drift down their own path. They may get (over) involved in their jobs or have separate friends and interests. Gradually they spend less time together and more time apart.
Although many relationships thrive on having two independent spouses there does come a point when the marriage suffers. So don’t neglect each other; by all means enjoy your independence but take care to ensure that this is balanced out with shared time together.
Aretha Franklin hit the nail on the head when she sang, ‘All I want is a little respect’. All of us feel the same way. We want to trust and respect our spouse.
For a marriage to run smoothly every day, couples need to have mutual acceptance of each other’s feelings and views. We all need to accept that our partner may not agree with us all the time. We remain as two individuals inside of our marriage and there needs to be room for differences.
So try to be respectful and accepting of your husband and try not to fall out over your differences. It is surprising how many spouses admit to automatically arguing against their spouse before they have really listened to and considered what has been said. Many couples fall into a power battle whereby they fight over every decision, however small and this is a very destructive and cyclical habit to get into.
When you disagree about something you have three main choices;
- to come to an agreement
- to compromise
- to let your spouse ‘win’ (and agree to differ)
You both need to accept that you can’t ‘win’ every time.
Don’t let routine decision making result in bigger arguments, name calling or worse. Respect your spouse and their views. Give them due consideration. By fighting fair you are showing that you can:
- take their points seriously
- agree to compromise or
- back down on some issues
Being able to demonstrate how to discuss areas of disagreement respectfully will encourage your partner to do the same. This does not mean that you have to always back down or compromise, there should be a good balance.
If you feel that you can’t achieve this; that respect is missing from your relationship now is the time to seek help.
So remember that pushing to win every argument could result in you losing your marriage. Ensure you and your partner demonstrate mutual respect.
So that’s it; 3 common marriage problems to avoid.