For any marriage to be successful it has to have the right foundations; the building blocks that support it. Trust is one such block.
Trust supports the emotional and physical intimacy within a marriage. If you want to avoid trust issues in your marriage then take a look at how you can build trust and strengthen your marriage.
1. Trust and Technology
Trust issues in marriage have become more prevalent in recent years, particularly since more people socialize and communicate using technology. Phones, email, messaging and other means of communications has become an easy way to meet new people as well as renew old friendships. However it also has a darker side; as a platform for hidden messages. Even if your spouse sees you texting a girlfriend quite innocently on a regular basis it can arouse suspicion.
The answer is to be open in your use of technology; don’t hide your phone, leave the room to make or take calls or rush to close down your email. It goes without saying that this cuts both ways. Open use of phones and computers by both of you will keep the trust alive.
2. Financial Unity
Trust is by no means just about love and remaining faithful. Indeed a very common marital issue is financial infidelity; money is certainly an area where trust is crucial in order for a relationship to work.
If you or your spouse are hiding either income or expenditure then the marriage lacks openness and trust. By all means agree on a monthly budget that you can both use as you please with no questions asked; but don’t be reckless with the central family funds – these need to be discussed together and joint decisions made. If you find yourself hiding purchases then something is wrong. What’s more if your spouse finds out then overnight the trust is gone. Even if your spouse doesn’t find out but sees you acting secretively or hiding things then the suspicion alone can be enough to break the trust between you.
3. Be a Good Partner
It sounds obvious but being supportive and reliable underpins trust. Just doing some of the following simple things will boost trust between you and your spouse:
- Be transparent – tell your spouse where you are and what you are doing – if you feel the need to lie then you are hiding something and that is unhealthy and risky.
- Be open and honest – don’t say one thing and do another; let your partner trust your words as well as your deeds.
- Be caring – you may not agree with him but always be sensitive and supportive to his feelings. Encourage him to be open with you and not to bottle things up. If you belittle, discount or ignore your partner’s feelings then he may not be so willing to share next time around. By developing a caring attitude to each other you will develop the trust necessary to share your deepest thoughts and feelings. Failure to do this could lead to physical or emotional infidelity – after all if he can’t trust you to listen and care then he may look for a more sympathetic ear
It’s not rocket science. It really is simple. Follow our marriage advice and understand how to nurture the trust in your marriage to keep it strong. If you do anything to erode that trust then once it has been lost it is hard to regain. Hard… but not impossible – coming soon another article on this topic, ‘How to Restore Trust in your Marriage when it’s gone’.
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