In the spirit of Monty Python we ‘always look on the bright side of life’ and want to help you discover the positive impact of an empty nest and your marriage as you progress through this important milestone in life.
Much has been written on the wrench of ‘losing’ children and the sometimes painful adjustment by parents to this new phase of their lives. Although there are certainly challenges to a couple acquiring an empty nest as well as adjusting to a new phase of marriage – many couples discover that they can renew and even revive their marriage after the kids have left home.
Acquiring an empty nest is an important milestone in your marriage and certainly triggers the need for adjustment and even reinvention – not just for you as a couple but as individuals too.
But heh, every cloud’s got a silver lining right? So check out the many fab things about your newly empty nest:
Family Relations when the Kids have Left Home
– You miss your kids and your kids miss you!
– You appreciate each other more.
– You communicate in different ways – it’s great to receive updates from the kids by phone, message, email or text – plus video calls, shared videos and photos are just the best!
– Because you aren’t together all the time when you do meet up there’s a real buzz!
– No more bickering kids – or at least far less of it!
Daily Living – Just the Two of You
– There’s actually hot water when you want a shower
– There’s no dirty laundry on the floor (unless your husband is still a culprit!)
– It’s not on the floor because you don’t have to wash it – minimal laundry – yay!
– You return home and the house looks exactly how you left it! No tidying or cleaning to do.
– You only have yourselves to think of – no chauffeuring commitments, chores for the kids or family meals to make.
– You may well be paying hefty tuition fees but boy the water, electricity and food bills sure seem to have shrunk!
– That means more disposable income for YOU – Fancy a holiday? Feel like updating your house or even selling up and downsizing? How about spoiling yourselves with some new clothes? Don’t go crazy but after years of putting the kids first, if you have spare cash; spoil yourselves a little!
– Think about the future; retirement is getting closer so now is the time to do some financial planning together.
Your Post Empty Nest Marriage
– You have the time and the money to focus on yourselves – now you just need to remember what it was that you used to enjoy doing before the kids absorbed all your time… or discover new hobbies and past times.
– You can have sex… any time, any where! What’s stopping you!
– You now have more time, money and hopefully energy to focus on your marriage – so why not rediscover each other emotionally and physically. Take the opportunity to re-ignite a marriage that may have lost its spark.
Empty Nest Divorce
‘Empty nest divorces’ or ‘grey divorces’ are on the rise – in fact they have doubled in the last 20 years. Many couples ‘stay together for the sake for the sake of the kids’ and then divorce when they feel that they are no longer ‘needed’ in the same way.
But having an empty next need not be a trigger for divorce, in fact it should be quite the opposite. Why not use this transitional phase of your marriage to make new plans and grow together as a couple. Whatever your starting point, even if you have both drifted very far apart, take the time to listen to each other’s hopes and dreams for the years ahead and get excited about all that is now possible. Put the spotlight on yourselves and seek out ways to improve your marriage now that the kids have flown the nest. May you be one of those couples who embrace an empty nest and your marriage changes for the better.