How Hande a Marriage with Low Self-Esteem

Barbara Firer

One of both of you may enter into a marriage with low self-esteem. You will soon find out that this character trait can affect the daily dynamics of your marriage.

So how can you boost your spouse’s low self-esteem?  Read on to find out some simple but effective ideas.

1.  Encourage Your Spouse to Grow

Maybe they could take a course at college or learn self-defense.  Find out where they feel inadequate – and suggest ways to build up their confidence in these areas. Learning new skills and obtaining recognition though certification gives people personal growth and better sense of worth.

2. Be Your Spouse’s Cheerleader

Point out and praise them for all that they are good at. People with low self-esteem focus on their weaknesses so putting these in context is important. Whether they are great at bargain shopping, saving you a fortune over time; are a wonderful cook, mother or very competent at their job – point it out; tell them how great they are and how much you appreciate them. It may not be anything they specifically do, it could just be a character trait you admire; always caring, having a listening ear and so on. Tell your spouse what they are good at because they very likely don’t notice of value the very things that mean so much to you.

3. Criticism Hurts!

If you feel the need to criticize please do so carefully and constructively. You should also mention positives at the same time to soften your criticism. People with low self-esteem really take criticism to heart so help them not to build up something that you have said out of proportion.

4. Talk your Spouse up in Public

If you do want to discuss negative things with your spouse then always do this in private. Public criticism is very difficult for people with low self-esteem. In fact, try to consciously talk up your spouse in public – share nice things they have done for you with your friends and tell them how much it meant to you while they are in earshot.

5. Safe and Secure

If your spouse has low self-esteem the best thing you can do for them is to provide safety and security. Be consistent in how you treat them and always behave in a trustworthy way. Your spouse should always know where they are with you and feel that your relationship is a safe haven for them.

If you have a marriage with low self-esteem present within it , it’s important to get the basics right. You and your spouse should both boost each other’s self-esteem to help each other’s confidence to grow.

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