We enter marriage as two separate individuals and as time goes by…… we are still two separate individuals! Is that news to you? Did you think that marriage would miraculously unite you both into one unit and remove any differences? Well come back down to earth then and understand what you can do if you have moments when you want to scream out ‘my husband is driving me crazy!”
Common Marriage Bug Bears
However well we get along all of us have our own preferences and habits which can sometimes be at odds with our spouse. These seemingly petty differences can really have an impact on marriage – let me give you some examples:
- Should the window be open or closed at night?
- What temperature should the thermostat be set on?
- Early riser or night owl?
- Neat freak vs slob
- Punctual vs perpetually late
- Optimist vs pessimist
- Love of background noise vs craving peace and quiet
- Loves company vs appreciates time alone
Aside from these differences there are habits such as snoring, smoking, food preferences (particularly those that create household aromas), leaving the cap off the toothpaste, the laundry on the floor and much, much more (to capture them all we’d need a book, not just an article!)
Accepting Each Other
There really is no shortage of annoying habits or differing personal preferences that can affect marital happiness. Luckily for you there are some simple marriage advice tips that can help you address these.
When you look at the list above of common habits that drive spouses crazy it is incredibly easy to identify the differences between you and your husband. I’m sure when you read the list you nodded and smiled at quite a few.
You may feel that you have to resolve these differences to be happy, however the plain truth is that in all marriages many differences are never resolved. Maybe they caused arguments and maybe the spouse tried to change their ways (and may have had varying degrees of success). There are bound to be enduring areas of the marriage where each partner has an opposing view or a habit that bugs their spouse.
So if you find yourself nitpicking give yourself (and your spouse) a break by accepting a new reality. Quite simply you are not going to resolve all of your differences and you are going to have to learn to live with some of your husband’s bad habits, just like he is going to have to live with yours.
Dealing with Differences
First off you need to recognize that differences don’t need to be conflict. Difference is normal. Difference is fine. It’s ironic that many couples report that the very things that attracted them to their spouse are the exact same things that later started to annoy them.
There are various ways of dealing with differences in a positive way so let’s look at a few:
- Laugh; you may be able to inject humor into the situation, turn it into a private joke with a bit of eye rolling accompanied by a smile.
- Discuss; talk to your spouse about their habits – and yours. Pick one or two that cause the most annoyance and see if you can come up with a compromise – for example, in the bedroom window open/shut scenario you could agree to alternate.
- Accept; his habits may always irk you but it is your choice to react to them – there really is no need to always argue about the little things. Always see the bigger picture; remember the great things he says and does, the endearing and sexy side of him – don’t focus on your differences focus on your areas of unity. Try to be more tolerant and accepting; after all he probably has to do the same with you. Just consider how calmer your house would be without these everyday arguments
So do you fee equipped now to tackle your differences? Could your cries of ‘My husband is driving me crazy!’ become a thing of the past? Take our advice and see the big differences you can make in your marriage.
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