Money may not be the root of all evil but it is certainly an issue that can very easily come between a husband and a wife. There are all sorts of situations that present themselves throughout married life that can trigger anger, resentment, jealousy and more. So take a look at the common money issues that destroy marriages and see if you can pick up a marriage advice tip of two that could take the heat out of your financial discussions.
This seemingly joyous and harmless tradition can actually cause arguments. How much do you spend? How much thought do you put into it? How original is the idea? (you really aren’t aiming for a flat ‘that’s nice’ when you hand over flowers or chocolates (which scream ‘I’m out of ideas!’)
You need to learn what your partner appreciates; some people are happy with something cheap and cheerful, as long as it is meaningful – for example a book of photos to remind you of special times you have shared together can go down better than a new outfit. Over time you will get to learn what your partner likes; guys if you’re really stuck ask her best friend for ideas!
Some people don’t like surprises and are happy to give suggestions or those who are particularly picky may prefer to be given money and to go and buy it themselves. There is no right and wrong but it’s such a shame for a present to cause resentment so agree on the types of gift you both like and how much to spend to take the pressure off of buying gifts.
Times are hard …
Perhaps one of you lost your job or your bills just hiked up by high school fees or other unavoidable expenses. Job loss can cause problems with self-esteem as well as finances and money worries can tear a marriage apart. You need to address these issues together; decide where to cut back or how to add to your income. Work as a united unit to get through these tough times.
Joint account or separate account? That is the question that many newlyweds ask. Many people today want to retain financial independence and a great middle ground is to have a joint account where both of your salaries are paid in to but to organize a monthly transfer to your individual accounts. You get the same amount to spend however you want to – no questions, no recriminations – so save it up for something big, buy something you need or even something frivolous, maybe use it for a girls night out or a pamper treatment at the beauty parlor. Having both joint and individual accounts is a great way to help you both stick to a strict budget but also feel financially independent.
Keeping out of debt
It’s so easy to fall into the credit trap. Many people these days are better informed about the perils of living on credit and are trying to remain debt free. Others are currently in debt and need a way to get out of it, or have gotten out of it and are determined to stay debt free. Many of them take the ‘cash only’ route. That means withdrawing cash for all your weekly purchases. You can work out a weekly budget and just withdraw this amount only. If you don’t have enough for all that you need then you need to decide what to do without. Paying by cash and being more aware of your budget is a great way to get out of debt and live debt free.
Any re-marriages, particularly those where young children are involved, brings with it financial pressures. You cannot resent the alimony or child support he has to pay to his previous wife/family,you just have to live with it, even if it puts a serious dent in your family income. Your spouse has responsibilities to his previous family and you have no choice but to accept and respect his need to support them. So accept it, make allowances for it in your own budget and don’t let it become an issue between you.
When things are looking up…
Perhaps one of you came into some inheritance, got a promotion or a salary rise – great news right? Surprising all of these issues can affect your relationship – the couple may disagree on how to use the extra cash; many couples have opposite views on spending or saving. It’s crucial to make financial plans together.
Money Money Money! Wise up to all the money issues that destroy marriages and take action to ensure that money never comes between you and your spouse.
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