Top 10 Bad Marriage Habits and How to Fix Them

Barbara Firer
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We may start off on cloud nine but over time all marriages pick up bad habits. Before you know it your relationship is laden with issues that affect your overall happiness. So perhaps now is a good time for you to read through our top marital bad habits and to learn how to fix these. Don’t get lazy in your relationship; tackle your differences head on.

1. Don’t Take Each Other for Granted

We can all become critical over time; focusing on the areas we are dissatisfied with  in our relationship rather than acknowledging all that is going right. Without noticing all the good things we don’t get a balanced view and can take our partner for granted.

So open up your eyes and notice all those thoughtful and helpful things your spouse does for you and the family. Don’t forget to notice those cute expressions, gestures and words he uses too; remember all the little things you found attractive in the beginning and cling on to them so that you continue to appreciate him.

 2. Don’t Neglect your Sex Life

You may have been married for quite a few years but don’t underestimate the power of loving touch in your relationship. Although a long chat is great for boosting your marriage you may not always have the time or inclination; so remember that showing love to your partner may speak more than a 1000 words.

Don’t leave it to chance; initiate massages, cuddles and sex to show your partner how much you care. Tired, time-starved couples could agree on one day a week when they set the alarm early so that they can fit in a sexy half hour to start the day.

Staying physically close and demonstrating your feelings to your spouse will bolster your emotional closeness too.

 3. Retain the Mystery!

It’s great to be with someone that you feel really comfortable with but perhaps keeping the bathroom door open; shaving your legs in his company or flossing your teeth is just a tad to far?! Sometimes personal hygiene really should remain personal!

 4. Don’t let Money come between you

Money matters – arguing about the finances can rip through a marriage. Having joint finances means that honesty, trust and a full partnership approach must be in place.

Take steps to prevent money from becoming a confrontation rather than a discussion. Don’t have any secrets. Make sure you have a common understanding and agree on your financial plans. Be on the same page; it may mean that you don’t get your way every time but marriage is about give and take.

 5. Be Supportive

How many times do you hear of marriages that fall apart with the words, ‘My husband doesn’t understand me‘? Don’t be the wife in this scenario. Be supportive of your husband’s career, sports activities and goals. Be his cheerleader! Encourage a marital environment whereby you can both chase your individual aspirations and dreams.

If you feel that he is doing too much outside of your marriage at the expense of your time together discuss the issue but don’t pour water on something that means a lot to him.There is always room to make a better balance and to compromise but both of you should have room in your marriage for individual growth. So accept and celebrate each other’s activities and goals; be each other’s biggest supporters.

6. Talk each other up not down

There really is such a thing as over-sharing! In these days of social media it is very easy, particularly in the heat of the moment, to post a status or comment that could belittle your husband. He is likely to see this himself or hear about it from a mutual friend.

Don’t air your dirty linen in public. Be restrained and keep personal stuff private whether on social media or in discussion with friends. If you want to have a heart to heart with a best friend you trust to seek advice that is fine; but take care when you share!

 

7. Parent from the Same Page

Don’t let the kids play one of you off against the other; make joint decisions and support each other. It’s also important to show your partner respect. You are a model to your kids and if you talk back to each other you are sowing bad seeds for the future.

 

8. Accept some Annoying Bad Habits

The toilet seat is left up. Dirty socks are on the floor. The milk carton is left out of the fridge. You’ve tried. You’ve pointed it out. You’ve discussed and argued about his annoying bug bears but still no change …. so what next?

Don’t let small things eat up your tolerance with each other. Sure he does things that drive you up the wall but you very likely bug him too. If you have tried and failed perhaps it’s time to let go of the issue; accept his bad habits. Roll your eyes and put it right but don’t have the same bickering bouts over and again about them. In the bigger scheme of things it really isn’t worth it.

9. Scrap the Screens!

We’re all so plugged in and tuned out in this day and age. We are distracted by incoming tweets, emails, messages and calls. Why not have an agreement for a technology-free night once a week? Make a nice meal and leave your phones, tablets and anything with a screen in another room. Focus 100% on each other; listen properly and feel the benefit of putting each other first.

 

10. Little things go a long way

Don’t forget the power of showing  that you care. Little love notes shouldn’t die a death once you tie the knot. Nor should dressing and smelling nice for your spouse. Don’t become complacent in your marriage and put all those nice little trimmings to one side.

Make the effort for each other in the way that you look but also in the way that you behave. Smile, laugh at his jokes and flirt too. Sometimes you really do need to make the effort to stop your relationship from becoming stale or mundane.

So there you have it. Ten common bad habits in a relationship and our marriage advice to overcome them.

Let us know of any other bad habits you can think of!

 

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

 

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